I went to the mall last week, killing time while I had some jewelry appraised. I was only there for a couple hours, but by the end of it I was in a state. I had to find a chair and do some deep breathing. I thought I would faint…I was just so overwhelmed by it all. Too many people, sounds, smells…it scared me, to be honest.
I really need to get out more.
I’m actually feeling as if I want to be more out in the world. I know that Stephen would not want me to fold in on myself for the rest of my life – he’d be quite upset with me – but I needed to do just that for a while. Still do, actually, but I find it’s less these days. I walk around the house singing again. I put the top down on the MINI for the first time all summer.
Little victories, but I’ll take ‘em.
I’ve searched out some new parks in town, so Buffy can have some new sights and smells. I’ve found a driving instructor to teach me to drive a manual transmission. They live the next street over…I haven’t made an appointment yet, but I did write the number down. I had my eyes examined this morning, and ordered new contacts and glasses. And then I went to the grocery store, instead of having the groceries delivered.
Today is a good day. It’s been a long time since I could say that.